I am newborn and family photographer, specializing in natural light and documentary-style storytelling.
I am a self professed people watcher. the fleeting details of our everyday are what fuels my photography, and my goal is always to authentically tell your story with my images. honest moments, pure connection. the beauty of your everyday.
other things that are essential for you to know about me:
• one of my most favorite smells in world is the inside of a pumpkin
• open bodies of water are my happy place
• if there is music playing in my car or house- there's a 99% probability that it is a broadway musical (in fact, doing theater is where I met my husband!)
• if I could live off of cheese and sourdough bread, I would
• I fall asleep listening to the tv show 'frasier'
• I have a bachelor's degree in theater, but majored in sign language before that
• no matter the temperature outside, the seatwarmers are always on in my car
• my kitty, nebula, is the feline reincarnation of myself. no seriously, ask my husband
before doing photography full-time, I worked as an infant caregiver for many years. I've had the honor to help nurture over 80 babies throughout the my time at the daycare. I truly feel like I naturally connect with children, and having the opportunity to intimately get to know so many families on such a personal and deep level has been really incredible. in fact, when my scheduling allows, I will still go back and substitute at the school to stay in closer contact with the babies (who are growing so quickly!), and their families. I've been told that my photography shows insight and details into a child's world in ways that other images don't...and I know that is because of the time I have spent being able to watch so many children explore this world for the very first time. it's one of the most beautiful things one could ever witness!
this photo was taken in august, 2016. I was pregnant. probably around 5 weeks.
a week before, my husband and I went to our first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). because, since june of 2015, we were trying to have a baby...and it just wasn't happening. for 13 months I cried every time I got my period. I charted my basal body temperature to track ovulation, started going weekly to acupuncture, drank smelly custom-made chinese herbal tea, and peed on opk sticks to monitor my LH surges. and ultimately? I learned way more about the science behind what it truly takes to make another life. more than I ever thought I would ever need to know.
and yet, here I was, finally pregnant.
on the day we went to see the RE, for the first time ever, my period was late. a blood test came back positive, but only slightly. my numbers were low, and I began going to get my blood drawn every other day to monitor that my levels were rising appropriately. I never said I was pregnant. I literally never spoke the "p-word" outloud. my husband actually teased me as I asked him to take that photo, because if I wasn't pregnant...why would I be asking him to do this? because, in a perfect world, if this was really happening- I wanted documentation. but.. something didn't feel right. I didn't like how low my hCG numbers were initially, even though they were doubling like they were supposed to be. my walls were up, and I couldn't fully admit that maybe it had finally happened. I needed an ultrasound with a beating heart before I could even cry happy tears or tell another person.
the long story short- 6 days after this photo was taken, I ended up at the emergency room in agonizing pain. I was admitted at 9:30pm, and was in surgery at 2:30am.
an ectopic pregnancy.
I had bleeding in my abdomen, and they couldn't find the pregnancy, which ultimately ended up being in my right fallopian tube.
and that was that. it was all over. all I have now are the scars on my stomach.
as I'm writing this- it is February, 2017. "unexplained infertility" is our diagnosis, and after 4 unsucessful IUIs- our only option left is IVF.... and I'm doing my best to hold it together on this incredible emotional rollercoaster journey that we are on, and documenting it every step of the way.
in person, I've been very open what my husband and I are going through. I have no shame in showing our waitress my surgery scars, when she candidly asks, "so, are you guys going to have kids?" because, here's the thing: infertility struggles are SO common, and yet NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT.
this journey can feel so isolating at times, and couples silently suffer.
not me. not us.
I'm here to break the taboo of not discussing the fact that sometimes couples go through hell and back to get pregnant, and stay pregnant. all we see is the beautiful belly bump, ooh and aww at tiny socks at the baby shower, and smell the top of the baby's head once they are born. yet, behind the scenes there was years of tears, pills, shots, doctor's visits, tests, procedures, and even more tears.
I'm going through it. and I'm looking forward to being on the other side. one day, the baby I've been dreaming of will be here. and, I know, they will have been worth the wait. I just know it.
check out my #worththewait series here.