glimmers.

we got a call from our clinic this morning at 8am with the initial fertilization report. unfortunately the news we received was not what we were expecting, and we’re still trying to process it all.

out of the 21 eggs that were retrieved yesterday, the embryologist was only able to ICSI (intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection, which is taking a single sperm and manually injecting it into the egg) 9 of them.

of those 9, only 3 fertilized.

the nurse whom we spoke with didn’t have a whole lot information as to exactly what happened, of why those 12 other eggs weren’t viable. she did say that the embryologist noted that there was poor egg quality, which is honestly shocking.
I’ve cried a lot this morning. we weren’t expecting this.

these 3 embryos have to fight, and stay strong and healthy, and grow. they need to make it to wednesday.

we will have an appointment scheduled sometime next week to go over in more detail with our doctor about what the embryologists saw. what happened. what went wrong. what went right. hopefully we’ll have more answers, and we’ll know what direction we will need to go in. there’s a lot of ways things may go now. we might end up having to do this process all over again to get more eggs to fertilize.

I spent a lot of time this morning texting with a woman who has become a huge support to me these last few weeks. she went through five IVF cycles herself, and is currently pregnant with her miracle baby.

“literally those 3 could be the best eggs you’ve ever made. you HAVE to continue to have faith in them. the universe will hear you…they will know. You’re totally still connected even though they’re in a lab. your 3 babies need you to cheer them on. don’t count them out yet. that’s what this game is about. it’s a lot of loss…and a lot of prayers. hold it together. after Day 5 you can lose it.”

I’m holding it together as best I can. we’re holding it together as best we can. we’re holding it together for those 3 glimmers of life that are growing in a lab right now.

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