silly.

earlier this week I had a conversation with someone who has been following our IVF journey. they told me how they had a member of their family go through this process with their spouse, but shortly after their baby was born, they ended up getting divorced.

I responded back saying how I totally understood how that could happen. everything about the infertility journey tests you and your partner. it’s so intense, that I feel like the end result can either be two extremes: it will either make a couple stronger and closer, or it will totally break you. there’s no in-between.

that night, after having that conversation- I looked over at this side of our fridge, and my heart swelled. my husband and I are in a really good place right now. and there’s no coincidence that I’m feeling this so fully because for the first time in months, I’m not hopped up on fertility drugs (and oh MAN does it feel good). we’re in this brief break from the madness. no shots, no hormones, no reports, no doctor’s visits. no bad news. we’re just simply living, relishing in the peace before the crazy starts up again in a few weeks.

these silly photo booth images of me and my husband over the years remind me of how much we’ve been through, how hard it’s been, but also how much closer we are from it all. the top left image is from 2012, and we’re making the exact same silly faces in the most recent image, taken last week at my husband’s work (with the palm leaves frame). for how much things have changed, so much has stayed the same. the silliness, the sarcasm, the laughter, even the complaining from my husband when I asked him to wait in line for these photo booth pictures (ha!), are the core of who we are. and that hasn’t changed even though there have been fights, and tears, and raging hormones, and an absurd amount of debt that has consumed our lives.

we’ve overcome so many hurdles, and there will be oh so many more in the future. and it will suck, and it will be hard, but right now I am reminded that we will always get through it and be able to take a silly photo at the end of it all.

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